


Stupid Shit I Wrote Over A Long Period Of Time

by Xeue



Category: South Park
Genre: Stuff I’ll Probably Never Finish
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-02
Updated: 2020-02-10
Packaged: 2020-10-05 09:37:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 4,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20486759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xeue/pseuds/Xeue
Summary: shit i’ll never finish (probably) but wanted to share so-if you actually like one please comment and maybe i’ll find the motivation to finish somewhere in my pockets





	1. Chapter 1

Bzzz. Craig’s phone vibrated on his dresser, jolting him awake. His head pounding, he picked it up and answered. “Mmm.. Hello?” he said hoarsely, not checking the caller ID.   
“Heyy!!” Clyde’s obviously drunken voice came from the phone’s speaker. “What. Is. Up?”  
“Well, I was napping,” Craig said, rubbing the sleep from his eyes and sitting up with his legs crisscrossed over each other under his blue comforter.   
“Nah, man, I mean, like,” Clyde mumbled, hiccuping, “wha’s up with life? How you been?”  
“You just saw me. Literally three hours ago.” Craig wrinkled his nose in distaste.   
“Ugh, hang on. Where’s my ffff... Why’re my shoes missing..?”   
“Jesus, Clyde, it’s only 2pm. Are you seriously this hammered already?”  
“Ha ha, whaaaat? Naaaaaaaahhhhhh...” Clyde paused. “Okay, I’ll be straight with you. I’ve had, like, 9 beers already. I am mmmmmmessed up.”  
Craig scoffed. Straight.  
“Alright, I’ll come get you.”   
“Listen, I love you, man. You’re my best friend...”  
“I know. Also, do you happen to have any idea where you are?”  
“Mmmm...” Clyde hesitated. “I think... Bebe’s?”  
“Ugh,” Craig sighed. Bebe’s was a magnet for shitty, early parties with lots of alcohol. “I’ll be there soon, just don’t do anything stupid while you wait.”   
“What counts as stupid?”   
“Everything.”  
“Too late, then, ‘cause I kissed Token.”  
“That’s gay, Clyde.”  
“It is?”  
“It’s also stupid. Where’s Token now?” Craig asked, kicking off the blanket and standing up.  
“Awww... he passed the fuck out. He’s right-“ Clyde hiccuped, “here.”  
The phone’s speaker crackled, and Craig assumed the intoxicated Clyde had dropped his phone.  
“Shit...” Clyde trailed off.  
“Right, I’ll be there soon. Don’t go anywhere. Do you hear me? Do not. Stand up.”  
“Fine...”  
Clyde pressed the end call button, threw a handful of ibuprofen into his mouth, and stood up out of his bed. Grabbing his coat and hat from the closet, he quickly pulled them on and slid out the window. Gritting his teeth at the sudden Colorado cold, he jogged to his car and stuck the key in the ignition.  
A seemingly long ten minutes passed before he arrived at Bebe’s house. Walking up to the door, he pulled it open just to immediately choke on the scent of booze and vomit, the music pumping bass into the air. Not the best combination for a headache, but Clyde and Token were here somewhere.  
Craig pushed through vibrating masses of teens, most drinking who-knows-what from red Solo cups, and others dancing like, well, drunk teenagers. Craig managed not to throw up, and made his way upstairs. Clyde, leaning against the wall next to a closed door, sat on the floor with an unconscious Token on his lap.  
“Heyyy!” Clyde slurred happily.  
“Hi, you. How about we get you home?”   
“Nooo...”  
“Yes.”  
“No, nope. I’m goi’ home w’ you...”  
“Fine. Can you walk?”  
“I goddi’t...”  
“I’ll carry Token, you just follow RIGHT BEHIND me, okay? If you get lost here you can’t get to my house and didn’t you want to go there?”  
“Yeah!” Clyde shouted. No exaggeration here. He yelled it, catching the attention of multiple girls standing nearby.   
“Shh, we have to get out of here, okay?” Craig said, lifting the unconscious Token off Clyde’s lap.  
“Okay,” Clyde said, quieter.  
Craig carried Token down Bebe’s stairs with considerable effort. Token, though slim, had a good 150 pounds on his frame.


	2. Hookup

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> uHh this one’s cryde (which i actually kinda love) and theyre both freshly 22 and alcohol an shit happens and they fucc and then again lmAo

Craig woke up with a pounding headache and bites up and down his left arm and shoulder. He stumbled out of bed, hand pressed to his right temple. He quickly made his way to the bathroom. He peered into the mirror, focusing.   
“Shit,” Craig whispered.  
On the place where Craig’s neck met his left shoulder were multiple light red marks in an oval shape all over his neck and shoulder. That wasn’t counting the... one, two, three, four... seven pronounced bite marks on his arm. Thinking back, now, he could barely remember what happened the night before. He had drank a lot, admittedly. Wait, did that mean he fucked some girl?  
Throwing a handful of ibuprofen into his mouth, he drank a cup of water straight from the bathroom tap.  
He was more calm, now that his headache was subsiding. He leaned over the sink and pressed his hot forehead to the mirror.   
“What did I do last night?”

—————

Clyde woke up on a carpeted floor. Not his own, that’s for sure. An empty beer can sat upon his bare chest, barely moving with each breath. He sat up, quickly realizing he didn’t have any clothes besides one singular black glove. His back hurt like hell, and he sat up and touched his back, quickly realizing he had many raised scratches on his usually smooth back as the beer can fell to the ground. He pulled off the glove, wincing.  
“Fuck,” he hissed in slight pain.  
He took in his surroundings. The bed in the room was disheveled, as if someone had slept in it but tossed and turned for hours. The carpet was a light shade of grey, all the worse for the stain slowly spreading around the beer can. The walls were covered in small painted stars. Clyde heard a faint, “What did I do last night?” from behind a door he hadn’t noticed. The door opened and Craig stumbled out, clutching his head. Craig’s gaze swung around, finally landing on Clyde.   
“Hey,” was all Clyde could manage, his face suddenly flushing dark red. Shit, shit, what do I do? Clyde thought frantically. I’m absolutely arse-bare on my friend’s floor, obviously something... happened last night, how is he going to react? Is he going to hit me? Is-  
Clyde’s thoughts were interrupted as the usually stoic face of Craig Tucker changed shades instantly from its usual pale color to a bright red.  
“Hi.” Craig said, wide-eyed.  
Oh. Oh shit.   
Craig averted his eyes and turned away.  
“I-I didn’t realize...” Craig trailed off.  
“Sorry, I-“  
“Don’t apologize. I think your clothes are here... somewhere...”  
Clyde brought his knees to his chest shamefully.  
“F-for now you can wear my clothes.” Craig forced.  
“Thanks.”  
Clyde grimaced.   
“D-do you have any idea what happened... last night?”  
“Well, obviously we fucked. Duh. Did you know you probably topped, or?”  
“Kgh!” Clyde gritted his teeth and flushed deeper, if such a thing was possible.  
Craig quickly hopped back into the bathroom, and fabric sliding against fabric could be heard. Craig was rummaging through a drawer, searching.  
“Here,” Craig said, tossing a pair of pants and some boxers towards the taller boy, both neatly folded. “I’ll leave so you can put those on, at least.”  
The raven-haired boy hurried out of the room, closing the door with a click behind him.  
Craig sighed and slid to the floor on the other side of the wall.  
Clyde quickly pulled on the clothes Craig had provided him, his body shaking slightly.  
“F-Feel free to take some of that aspirin by the bed, you probably have a headache after all that alcohol,” Craig called. He knew Clyde heard him as the pills clinked in the bottle a second later.  
It was only a day after Craig’s 22nd birthday, and he had already messed up in likely a lot of ways. All he knew so far was he got really, really drunk last night. Had he slept with Clyde?  
He was thrown out of his thoughts by Clyde opening the door again, embarrassed.  
“Sorry,” Clyde said, rubbing the back of his hand nervously.  
“What’re you sorry for? I don’t remember anything from last night, if you do would you care to tell me?”  
The boy sitting on the floor couldn’t help but notice the defined shape of Clyde’s muscles, a far cry from the ball of pudge he used to be. Craig’s eyes may have lingered a bit too long, for Clyde grinned hesitantly.   
“Like what you see?” he said jokingly, a faint dusting of pink across his cheeks.  
“Pff,” Craig laughed.  
“Did you just actually laugh at one of my stupid jokes? I would never have expected such a scandalous thing from you!”  
“Ah, so you admit they’re stupid now!” Craig pointed accusingly at the taller boy looming above him.  
“No, no, you heard no such thing from me.” Clyde said, wincing.  
“Wait, are you hurt?”  
“No, it’s just that you, or whoever I slept with last night, had really fucking sharp nails and carved actual ravines into my back.”  
Oh. Did I do that to him? Craig thought, both upset and strangely proud. He kind of, in a weird way, wanted to see the marks.   
“Oh,” Craig said simply. “Do you want me to, you know, clean it up or something? I have an aid kit in the bathroom.”  
“You don’t have to, but you could, if you wanted to? If, if you think that’s the right way to go about it.”  
Craig sighed and stood up. “C’mon idiot, let’s get you cleaned up.”

—————

“Ow, fuck,” Clyde hissed through his teeth.  
“Shh.” Craig patted the scratches covering the bigger boy’s back with a wet cloth. The marks were, in fact, quite deep. They definitely would be sticking around for a while.  
“Done,” Craig said, satisfied, a few seconds later.  
Clyde let out a deep breath he’d apparently been holding.  
“Thanks.” he sighed, turning to Craig. Finally noticing the red marks just showing above Craig’s collar, he appeared startled.  
“Yeah, so you’ve seen them. Think they’re from you.” Craig said, monotone.  
“Damn,” he tried.  
“Any advice on how to hide these? I heard from, ah, a few people that you usually bottom.”  
“Well the high collar on a letterman usually helps, you know. And I don’t sleep around That much! It was probably just... Bebe.”  
“Hmh. I’m sure.” Craig hummed.  
Clyde pulled at the skin on the back of his hand, uncomfortable.  
“So, what now?” he asked, hesitant.  
Craig took his sweet time responding. He shrugged, finally.  
“Well, since neither of us remember last night, want to-“  
“Whoa, whoa, slow down, I-“  
“-ask someone else who was there?” Craig finished.  
“Oh.” Clyde flushed, embarrassed.  
“Pfft, did you think I was going to seduce you or something? I’d let you initiate that, idiot.”  
Clyde choked on air.  
“Y-you’d want to do it again?”  
“For scientific purposes, yeah.” Craig drew out, and instantly reprimanded himself internally. Just admit it already!  
...  
Admit what?  
“Well, I-I mean, if-“ Clyde began, “if you want to, we could.”  
“You- you’d-“  
“I- okay, you don’t want to, I-“  
Craig pulled Clyde to his considerably smaller chest, and pressed his lips to his.   
Clyde looked momentarily stunned, then his face flushed to almost the exact shade of a ripe tomato. He gently pushed the smaller boy off of him.  
Craig blinked, apologetically reddening.  
“I-I’m sorry, I just- I didn’t mean to, push you away, I just- you know what, okay, I just-“  
“Clyde, whatever it is, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or, you know, rush into, uhm, this.”  
Clyde rubbed the back of his hand, embarrassed and turning his head to hide his blush.  
“Would you, uh, tell someone if I, uh. If I said, uh, jeez, this is hard, I-“ he shut his light brown eyes tightly. “I want to kiss you, I do, I just wasn’t expecting that, and, I- nO HOMO RIGHT?”  
“Whoa, whoa, calm down. “ Craig’s eyes widened and he held up his hands in surrender.  
“Ah! Sorry.”  
“All homo, Clyde.”   
Clyde looked surprised and looked back at Craig. The ravenette looked the bigger brunette in the eyes, grabbed his hands, and intertwined their fingers now that he had his attention.  
“Do you want me to do this?” he asked seriously.  
“I-I do.” Clyde squeaked. looking awkward.  
“Okay. Tell me to stop if I go too far, okay?”  
“Okay.” he nodded quickly.  
Craig untangled his fingers from Clyde’s and wrapped his arms around his neck, pulling them together in a deeper kiss than before, tongues brushing in each others’ mouths. Clyde relaxed into the kiss, placing his hands on the slimmer boy’s hips to shift him onto his lap instead of in front of him on the bench.  
They broke away for air, only for Craig to shift his focus to Clyde’s exposed neck and collarbone.  
“Looks like I top this time,” Craig muttered into Clyde’s ear as Clyde panted for breath above him, sending shivers down the bigger boy’s spine.  
Craig licked the place behind Clyde’s ear.  
The boy let out a small, low moan, barely audible, but the other heard it nonetheless.  
“Huh,” the raven-haired boy sighed.  
He released his arms from Clyde’s neck, bringing one hand down to gently touch the tent forming in the pants he had loaned him, the other resting beside his partner on the cool plastic of the bench they sat upon.  
The bigger boy inhaled sharply.  
“O-oh... th-that’s...” the brunette breathed.  
Craig slipped his fingers up to the waistband, tracing Clyde’s skin above the light grey fabric.  
Clyde shuddered, the warmth of Craig’s fingertips unexpected in the cold bathroom. He remained still, however, as Craig’s hand explored further, dipping below the fabric to gently prod the growing shape beneath the borrowed boxers.  
“Ready?” Craig whispered.  
“Mh-“ Clyde tried. “Y-yes. Please.”  
“Okay.”   
Craig pulled Clyde’s, or rather his, pants and boxers off together, not bothering to slow down. Clyde’s length stood tall in the chill, already fully hard.  
Craig stepped back for a moment, maybe to savor Clyde’s expression of total lust and anxiety.  
Then he moved forward again, leaning over the exposed skin. His warm breath ghosted over his pale untanned skin, the space between his thighs and the lower area of his stomach, raising

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> why did i make this


	3. Online Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> creek, tweek has a bird, uh, uh, um, craig lives alone, clyde is overattached to literally everyone

CRAIG

It was snowing again and I had stayed up too late. Again. I rubbed my eyes, swinging my bare legs over the edge of my bed to the floor. I yawned, flexing my back so my bones popped loudly, obnoxiously. It was one of those mornings, those early mornings when the sun’s just come up, but it shines onto the thick snow outside, blinding my tired eyes. Yeah, it looks pretty deep. Can’t even see my mailbox. School would be cancelled, if I was still in school.   
I let my feet rest flat on the ground for a moment, still laying sideways on my bed, my hips hanging off the long side of the bed, an inch or two of my flat stomach exposed under a baggy NASA t-shirt pulled up by the comforter I had been nestled in for the two, maybe three hours I had actually slept.  
Sleep had been harder and harder to come by, alcohol being the only foolproof way to get a few hours of sleep. I knew it was bad, but a hangover, in my opinion, was better than suffering through life without a second of sleep.  
I sat up finally, the pain in my back growing too much to tolerate. I took my time getting down the stairs to my kitchen, the slap of my bare feet against the wood a comforting, repetitive rhythm. As soon as I arrived in the tiled kitchen, my phone, plugged in by the sink, vibrates loudly. I sigh, reaching for it. The charger clicked as it hits the counter. I press “accept call”.  
“Craig!” a voice yelled in my ear.  
“Jesus! I- I mean, what’s up Clyde? Why are you awake so early?”  
“Early?” Clyde asked. “It’s 7, isn’t it?”   
“I guess it is,” I said, my slightly deeper, scratchier morning voice still monotone like usual. “Too early for me, Clyde.”  
“Sorry, did I wake you or something?”   
He sounded almost genuine.  
“No, it’s fine.” I sighed. “What’s up?”  
“Don’t you remember? The internet friend you told me about is moving in today! Come on, don’t tell me you forgot!”  
“Okay, fine, I didn’t forget.” I said sarcastically, trying and failing to suppress a light smile from crossing my face.  
“Pff, how did you? You’ve been excited for this for weeks now! Ever since they told you, it was all you could talk about! I wonder if it’s a girl! Maybe she’ll be hot!”  
I could practically hear him drooling over some fantasy in his head.  
“Right.” I said vaguely.  
I didn’t know them yet. We didn’t have each others’ real names, so they could be anyone. They told me last-minute apparently, saying that they were moving out-of-state to South Park, Colorado.  
I could hardly wait. They seemed so nice online.  
I could only hope they were who they said they were.  
Oh god, what if it’s just some weird perv? I thought. What if- wait, I must be crazy. I didn’t even tell them I lived here.   
“Hello? Earth to Craig, get your head out of space. You’ve been silent for at least five minutes.”  
“Yeah, yeah. Go put some clothes on, idiot.” I hung up on Clyde.  
Setting my phone back on the counter, I stepped to the left and opened my bread box. I pushed a piece of bread into the toaster, not caring how burnt it might be. I didn’t even glance at the cook time.  
My phone buzzed again. It was a message from yura_hoe, my online friend. 

yura_hoe:  
hey didnt u say you lived in colorado

newquinea:  
yea in south park

yura_hoe:  
south park really? that’s where im moving lmao

newquinea:  
thought you didnt know yet

yura_hoe:  
yea my parents just told me

yura_hoe: New Message

ill arrive today an im rlly anxious but itll be cool to meet u

newquinea:  
yea youre one of very few people i actually like

newquinea:  
message me when u get here

yura_hoe:  
yea i will♡

I logged off the chat, my heart racing unnecessarily. What if they don’t like me? They’re the only person I really like, I thought. Jeez, I need to calm down. I sound like a hormonal teenage girl with a crush.  
My toast popped and I dropped my phone.  
“Jesus!” I huff, bending down to turn over the screen, searching for cracks as I stand up again.  
I set the phone down, and continued my morning as normal. Mostly lounging around, basically.  
The toast wasn’t burnt. I took it as a good sign.

TWEEK

I did it! I told them! Maybe they’ll like me. Oh god, what if they don’t? What if they hate me? Or are a rapist, or a murderer, or-  
I pulled my hair, blonde strands in my shaking hands as I realized what I was doing.  
“D-dammit!” I yelled, my voice shaking more than my hands.   
“Are you okay, honey?” my mom’s concerned voice floated faintly from in the kitchen.  
“Y-yeah, f-fine mum!” I yelled back. Dammit. I’m so stressed. Maybe it’ll get better once we get to Colorado. I really, really don’t like this busy-city place, it’s way too stressful. It’s cold, but I think Colorado’s colder. I really haven’t done my research, have I? I don’t know.  
I sighed, relinquishing my hold on my hair. I can’t keep going like this.  
I grabbed the pill bottle from the table in the front hall, popping off the cap. I poured three of the meds into my hand, but before I tossed the pills into my mouth, I read the label.  
Alprazolam. An interesting name.  
Downing the pills quickly, I stuck my phone into the pocket of my brown jeans.  
The rounded edges of the pills burned my dry mouth and throat.  
Boxes lie all around my house, but it’s not even an eighth of what’s been taken in the moving van to the house already. Today is the day. I’m moving, for real this time. We’ve never actually moved before. My parents and I have lived in this house for my whole life, almost 20 years.  
“Jeez,” I whispered. I quickly headed up the stairs to my near-empty bedroom. After I step lightly through the hall, I peer into my room, seeing nothing but my two remaining boxes yet to be moved into the van, and my black lory, Bean, in her big cage.  
Bean makes a noise of satisfaction when I step into the room, clicking her beak thoughtfully. I plug in my phone next to her cage. Bean clicks her beak some more, asking for attention. I of course oblige happily, unhooking the cage lock to offer her my hand. Bean steps gracefully off her perch, clinging to the fabric of my sleeve as I pull my arm out of the cage again and stroke the soft black feathers atop her head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hehe i love clyde uwu  
aLso i probably accidentally changed perspectives like 29379202938338 times so uh pretend u dont see them


	4. bruh sound effect #2 im out of titles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> do i need to add warnings  
craig an kenny are friends Nd smonk and underage drinkk and stuff in school and also creek also bullying?

“Hey, watch this.” Craig said to Kenny, smirking.  
He peered over from his place leaning against the lockers, watching a blonde boy struggle, twitching violently, to push his schoolbooks into his locker.  
“Hey!” he yelled, his cigarette almost falling from his lips as he did so.  
The blonde jumped, spilling his books and everything else he had been attempting to shove into the locker onto the floor with multiple slams.  
“J-jeez...” the boy said, his shoulders falling and his eyes downcast. He lifted his eyes to look at Craig, more afraid than angry or, well, anything.  
“Nothing.” Craig turned back to Kenny.  
“See? That shit never gets old. He’ll jump no matter what he’s doing, where he is, whatever’s happening. And it’s always like that, over-exaggerated, like he’s faking it, but he evidently isn’t.”   
“Sweet,” Kenny drew out, smoke leaking from his mouth behind his almost completely burnt-out cigarette.  
The blonde boy inhaled shakily and resumed trying to shove the books into the locker, a no less difficult task now that he shook a little more.  
“Aw, come on, Kenny.” Craig spit the cigarette onto the linoleum floor, grinding the burnt paper and tobacco to a fine ash under the heel of his shoe.  
“Nah, nah. It’s cool. I’m just tired is all.” Kenny pulled the cigarette out of his mouth, letting out a long exhale of smoke.  
“Right.” Craig sighed and sank to the floor. He sat there for a moment, peaceful. Then the twitchy kid’s locker slammed shut, all the books safely inside by some miracle.  
“Bye, Twitch!” Craig called to the kid as he hurried away, presumably to class. “Nice ass by the way! Meet me after school by the fountain!”  
Kenny shot Craig a look.  
“What? He’s kinda cute, might as well.”  
“Why do you always do this?”  
“‘S fun.”  
“Jeez, man. You gonna top again?”  
The ravenette leaned to rest his chin on his palm, his elbow pressing into his knee as he adjusted to a crisscross position.  
“Dude, does that look like a top to you?”  
“Nah, not really.”   
Kenny plopped to the floor to rest next to Craig.  
“Think he’ll show up?”  
“Nah, probably not. Whatever though.”  
“Does he even know what you do? He looks new.”  
“Aw man hope that nasty little rumor didn’t spread that fast,” Craig said sarcastically.  
“It’s not that bad.”  
“Really now. Being drunk and spilling your secrets like they’re everybody’s business, and then crying. How would you rate that?”  
Kenny stayed silent.  
“Cool, glad to see we’re on the same page here.” Craig slumped back onto his hands, having sat up straight in his slight outburst.  
“Sorry. Didn’t mean to, ehm, bring that back up. No use holding onto it, yeah?”  
“Yeah. Not really worth it, eh?”  
“Hm.” Kenny hummed gently, eyes drifting shut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i dont like thhis scenario why did i write this


	5. Panic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hHh i wrote this after getting yelled at so i hope that explains a little bit

He clutched at his head, pulling at his hair. The hot tears ran down his face, dripping onto his knees that were pressed tightly to his chest. His shoulders shook, deep, shuddering breaths wracking through him as he struggled to contain sobs. Finally, as his thin composure collapsed, he slumped over his knees and let his jeans get soaked in the liquid pain dripping from crystal eyes.   
A hand rested on his shoulder and he jumped, almost falling as he did so.  
“Shh, it’s just me,” a familiar voice spoke quietly, gently sitting beside him.  
“What happened?” the voice asked.  
“I-I j-just- I ca-can’t do thi-this.” he whispered softly after a moment.   
“Is there anything I can do to help?” the voice was sympathetic, kind.  
He hesitated, his head still resting on his knees. He released his hair, the strands he had pulled too hard falling from his hands.  
“Stay wi-with me?”  
“Of course.”  
He let a final sound escape him as the voice’s arm wrapped around his back comfortingly. Then Tweek Tweak rested his head on Craig Tucker’s shoulder, and Craig let him.  
“It’s okay.” Craig spoke softly, as to not disturb Tweek.  
“When y-you’re here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> why do i ship craig with so many people


	6. knives

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> is been like a year but whatever 
> 
> craigs an emo  
clyde is smol  
help

Craig's knife danced over the table, sharp tip digging thin white lines into its already scarred top. His elbow rested on the corner, his hand pressing into his cheek. A few strands of black hair fell gently into his eyes, his slender fingers working the blade to shape a long, winding spiral. The languid, lazy loops curled up the whole left edge of the black-topped wood, curling delicately around previous lengthy carvings.   
The door behind him creaked quietly open, Clyde's slightly rounded face peeking in.   
"What're you doing?" his voice seemed to push Craig out of his silent repetition of drifting the knife in thoughtful pattern.  
"Oh," Craig nearly dropped the blade on his lap but caught it in the very tips of his fingers before he sliced his fucking dick off. "Nothing. What's up?"  
"I was just checking on you, y'know, because you've been in here alone for like two days."  
"It has not been two days, I can guarantee that much."  
"You're right. It's been a week."  
"Oh, come here, dumbfuck." Craig jabbed the blade in the table and turned to face his


	7. world domination

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the boys

"So," Craig huffed, flopping next to Clyde, "what's the plan for today?"  
"World domination." Clyde said, without missing a beat.  
"A bit ambitious." Craig joked.  
"But you're my world."  
"What?"  
"You heard me."  
"Oh, you think you could do it?"  
"I think I could do you," Clyde stated smoothly.  
Craig very rarely was out-worded. "You do realize you sound like a 15-year-old, right?"  
"I-IT WAS SMOOTH!"  
"Not now that you dropped it."  
"FUCK."  
"Sure." Craig replied easily.


End file.
